Suicide is NEVER the answer

In light of recent events that have occurred, I feel as though this is something that should be repeated yet again. If you are ever considering suicide, please, please, PLEASE talk to somebody. You have friends that care about you. You have people that love you, even if it doesn’t seem as such. And if It’s a Wonderful Life has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t even realize the far-reaching implications your life can have on others.

I cannot emphasize enough that if life seems too overwhelming, please seek help. And if you don’t feel as though you can rely on those around you, or otherwise feel as though you have no one to talk to, the number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is:

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

RIP. You will be in my prayers.

[Names have been purposely left out for privacy reasons.]


Lifestyles of the Poor and Unemployed

It’s been a miserable last week or so…mostly due to my own fault. I think I completely underestimated the whole job hunt thing, and when the transition period of living at home finally became a more realistic few months rather than the few weeks I anticipated, it kind of put me in a shock. Honestly, I thought that once I passed the NCLEX, the job would come with no effort (and it doesn’t help that most people who hear that I’m a nurse say “Oh you’ll have no problem getting a job!” …yeah…I call BS).

In any case, I definitely went into a sort of funk. To the point where I deactivated my Facebook because I got really tired of seeing all my friends, especially the people I graduated with, getting on with their real adult lives, and I was stuck at home in unemployment limbo. But trying to find jobs as a new graduate nurse, first most places hire in waves, usually January/February, June-ish, and September/October, if they have a fall cohort. Had I actually realized this, I may not have decided to wait on my NCLEX. Second, every other place wants people with at least two years of experience. Which obviously as a new grad, I don’t have.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the extra time, to study and not panic to get my ish together, but let’s be real: I don’t think I would’ve been any less prepared had I done it sooner. My “Oh crap it’s next week” cram session would have just come earlier.

In any case, I passed my NCLEX a couple of weeks ago, and I finally seriously got into the job hunt, and when it finally kicked in how hard it was to find a job in the unit I want in the city I want…well let’s just say I used the phrase “kicked in” with great intention. It felt like I got kicked in the gut and the face at the same time when I realized that I would at best have to choose between one or the other and at worst get neither.

So yes, I hit a funk and shut down. In fact, my Facebook is still deactivated at the moment (although at this point, more for the sake of proving that I can, in fact, live without social media, and that I’m not addicted to the “post” and “share” buttons of Facebook and tweeting for that matter). But things are finally looking up. Not because I have a job lined up or even an interview. But because I decided to finally stop moping and make something happen. I feel like I should follow this sentence with some sort of infomercial-y type statement like “And for $29.99, I can show you how!” [cheesy smile]

…Ugh I immediately regret even having the previous thought.

ANYway. So a few days ago (a week? I don’t know. The days bleed together at this point, and I don’t feel like clicking back to the other screen to check the timestamp), I got an email from my subscription to The Art of Manliness with this article entitled “A Man’s Guide to Moving Back in with His Parents…While Maintaining at Least a Little Dignity.” I thought it was strangely appropriate, so I gave it a cursory glance when it first appeared in my inbox. Then forgot about it until I went to clean up my inbox tonight.

I figure if you got here, you can click the link, so I won’t bother with detailing the content of the article, but it was the kick in the pants I needed to get back on my game. No, I’m not living the life I would like right now. And no, I have yet to do anything that REALLY uses the skill set I graduated with. And no, I’m nowhere near the city that I love more than any other city I’ve ever been in before. But hell if I don’t have a pretty sweet deal right now. I’m 23 years old, and my parents LET me move back home while I find a job. Parents who could, oh you know, use some help. If nothing else, I am an RN with a BSN. My parents have a home health. While I may not have the experience to perform the full-out nursing role, I do have the knowledge to help in other ways. I’m an able-bodied man (although most days I don’t honestly believe it myself), and I can help my dad with things.

Long story short (I know, too late), it’s time for me to stop licking my wounds from the first blows of the job hunt, and man up. After all, if I want to both be seen as and actually BE a man, I’ve got to act like one first.